Attention

Some of lyrics may harbor NSFW or explicit contents. They are marked with [R] to point out that you are about to view one of such texts.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Aien kien / Kiryu

Kanji & Romaji: hiphopvomit
Translation: myself (with a wee bit of help of my friend's translation, thank you fam)

Lyrics & music: Sakai Mitsuki





Love's curse burned by the flame of grief



Peeling off face's skin and then sewing on the disguise (1)

One     Two     Three     Four     Five     Six     Seven     Eight     Nine

Reciting to oneself over and over again

Hateful, yet beloved.... A puppet with a broken heart

One     Two     Three     Four     Five     Six     Seven     Eight     Nine

Deluded over and over again

"Love's curse burned by the flame of grief"

Black rain of wants lets the hazy moon fall into the darkness      The sea of vomit and excreta enjoys that abyss
Cut apart... Cut apart... Black rain of wants fades away     Eyes open in ecstasy

Distress, therefore I am here, tied to the empty reality
Detached last new moon is a dream coming through the emptiness

Last words that accidetally leaked out from a slit ellipse were

"………………." (2)

Cold hands are loosely hanging down     Behind     Sound of bugs

Footnotes:

  1. A play on an idiomatic phrase: 化けの皮を剥ぐ [bake no kawa wo hagu] - to unmask one's true nature / intentions; lit. to rip off one's disguise / face's skin
  2. Not really a footnote; I just wanted to note that when this song is sung, Mahiro makes khrhhrhrkhhr sounds here (choking!)

Discussion:

四字熟語 [yojijukugo] - Japanese version of unholy four-character idiomatic compounds (East Asians are apparently strongly keen on such things). My blog's title is an example of yojijukugo and so is aien kien (Kiryu likes to name mostly albums after yojijukugo or after something that resembles them). However, aien kien should be written as 合縁奇縁 not 愛怨忌焔. Therefore, we have a wordplay here. 合縁奇縁 most common meaning is uncanny relationship formed by a quirk of fate.
Let's look more closely though:
合 [ai] - to join, to meet, to unite etc
縁 [en] - relationship
奇 [ki] - strange
縁 [en] - fate (yes, this kanji has more than one meaning)
Also:
合縁 [aien] - buddhism derived term meaning connection of two people (mostly romantic)
奇縁 [kien] - quirk of fate, strange coincidence
Whereas:
愛 [ai] - love
怨 [en] - grudge, curse
忌 [ki] - mourning, grief
焔 [en] - flame
The funniest part is that characters above form by no means any particular words as they do in 合縁奇縁. After hours of thinking how to somewhat deal with that wordplay, I ultimately came up with love's curse burned by the flame of grief, but I honelstly have no idea whether it can be a legitimate translation or not.

I reckon, Mitsuki wanted to create a total opposite of the original idiomatic compound, considering the song's context. Well, context... I would like to tell you something about the moon in these lyrics. I believe it is a metaphor of a person. Beloved one, that is. New moon - meeting, whereas hazy (moon) stands for something that cannot be reached. What we have here is an unrequited love. But how does the subject deal with it? Simple: "if I can't have it then nobody will". Does that fit into a yandere archetype, this is a serious question. I mean, the subject loses their wits and kills their desired one. To sum up, love's curse means the hardship of an unrequited love and flame of grief is a simile to the commited murder.

As a summary:
Love's curse ≠ uncanny relationship
To burn ≠ to form
Flame of grief is just a cause, much like quirk of fate.

Whoa, that was quite a challenge. At the very end, a fun fact: I am quite happy with this translation regardless.

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Zetsu wo nozomu / Kiryu

Kanji & Romaji: hiphopvomit
Translation: myself

Lyrics & music: Sakai Mitsuki





絶ヲ望ム [Zetsu wo nozomu]
Desire to perish



Floating on a twinkling flash     Gaze of immorality that one cannot hide
Forgetting one's reasoning      Instantly setting one's instincts free

As if I were robbed of everything     Certain people laugh in a rainy day
I always recall     Tears running in black and white

When living is painfully harsh     I look away from an injured heart
Living through, spinning life round (1)     Living is painfully harsh

Going round, the answer I've found is endless "despair"

I even tried to live peacefully     Ran away from that distress
Living through, spinning life round     Clinging to baseless "despair"

Going round, the answer I've found isn't really an answer
Live... Live... Live... The future I struggle to reach is a
"Return to its starting point"

Footnotes:
  1. As in "to make a yarn"

Rant Discussion:

Mitsuki, what are you... Itoshiki Nozomu?
Well.
Do you know what will happen when you get rid of all kana in 絶ヲ望ム ? You'll get 絶望 [zetsubou] - despair. Despair is also what I went through while trying to translate the title, because 絶 [zetsu] is used in such a weird way and it is by no means used as a word in and of itself:
絶える [taeru] - to cease, to die out, to vanish
BUT
Aforementioned 絶望 → 望 hope
絶対 [zettai] - absolutely, totally → 対 opposite
絶滅 [zetsumetsu] - extinction (in biology) → 滅 destruction
絶好 [zekkou] - best → 好 like, pleasing
See? No good.

So I attempted find any good one-word translation for this kanji regardless. Actually the song is about someone suffering from a crippling depression. A person caught in an endless spiral of despair, who tries to live through, yet wants to put an end to his own life. Having this thought in mind, extinct might be a fitting word, albeit it does not sound good in a title. End is somehow not satisfying as well as vanish and die is too blunt. Frankly, perish is the best possible translation I could come up with.

ZETSUBOU SHITAAA, SONO KANJI NI ZETSUBOU SHITAAA!!

Afterword:

Recently I've got a couple requests for translations. Zetsu wo nozomu, Aien kien and Akai mi hajiketa, that is. I thought, it would've not hurt if I'd translated Zetsu wo nozomu, so here it is, however the remaining two... A friend of mine already translated Aien kien some time ago. I'd need to read that translation once again and analyze it. I know, it doesn't seem to be a difficult task, but by analyze, I mean to translate it on my own using my friend's translation as a base, because otherwise I won't be able to interpret the lyrics. Also, I wouldn't want my friend's hard work to be wasted. It may take me a while since the lyrics are really intricate.

Akai mi hajiketa though is a whole different story. I've already made a template for that song with a 2016/6/30 date on it and I temporarily aborted the translation mission due to its lyrics' abstract and bizarre form (seriously Mitsuki, reconsider your diet please). But I'll eventually (emphasis on eventually) translate that monster as well.

Please be patient. I focus mostly on Kiryu anyway, therefore, sooner or later, I'll do something about those songs.

Also! I'd like to thank you for every nice and warm comment I get here. Everytime I get them, I feel like I'm doing something right and my translations actually make any consistent sense. Thank you again!

Friday, November 25, 2016

Gekka bijin / Kiryu

Kanji: rocklyric
Romaji: WHO THE HELL NEEDS ROMAJI, I mean, I went with my keen ear
Translation: myself, *prof. Ryuichi Abe

Lyrics & music: Sakai Mitsuki





月下美人 [Gekka bijin]
A Queen of the Night / Dutchman's pipe cactus



There’s Paradise      Close your eyes and crouch down
“I can’t see”
“I can’t speak”
“I can’t hear”
“I can’t touch”
“I can’t feel”

...Is it a dream?

I lowered my head and now the me waiting a moment is an already withered corpse
When death agony cuts off flower buds stitched together

Shriek of flowers in dazzling colors      Screaming as if one’s life were spinned round (1)
A silhouette from the past invites       Me entwined in the emptiness
When shaking off, pain from vertigo     Even though I scream stretching my hand towards the future (2)
Experiencing evanescence when touching the dream     Experiencing certainty when touching the reality

Although its scent still lingers on    The form of a flower (3) has scattered away     For whom will the glory
Of this world remain unchanged      Arriving today at the yonder side     Of the deep mountains of evanescent existence      We shall never allow ourselves to drift away     Intoxicated, in the world of shallow dreams *

I cover eyes with both hands and lament It’s dark, it’s dark
While pitifully rotting like that     Dreaming itself is just laughable

I lowered my head and now the me waiting a moment is an already withered corpse
Reality becomes a pecking pain that drags one around

Screaming white dyed      “Transparency”, but somehow that’s “richly colored”
I’m just myself     Still, entwined in emptiness
When looking back, colorless sweet nectar     If I got intoxicated in it, a fake heart would be content
Experiencing evanescence when touching the dream     Experiencing certainty when touching the reality

Life, if blooms, will wither, disappear, rot and come to an end
In the moonlit night when flowers open to mark the passage of that time

To turn into a living corpse     Or to scream for life until I die
Swaying on the wind and caressing the dream     Or swaying on the wind and caressing the reality

Shriek of flowers in dazzling colors      Screaming as if one’s life were spinned round
A silhouette from the past invites       Me entwined in the emptiness
When shaking off, pain from vertigo     Even though I scream stretching my hand towards the future
Experiencing evanescence when touching the dream     Experiencing certainty when touching the reality

Although its scent still lingers on    The form of a flower has scattered away     For whom will the glory
Of this world remain unchanged      Arriving today at the yonder side     Of the deep mountains of evanescent existence      We shall never allow ourselves to drift away     Intoxicated, in the world of shallow dreams


Footnotes:

  1. As in “to make a yarn”
  2. Or “brightness”
  3. Or "color"

Discussion:

"Blooms for only one night under the moon, a flower as pretty as a beautiful woman."

月下美人 [gekka bijin] lit. a beauty under the moon is a species of cacti that literally blooms at night and for only one night. Witnessing it blooming is often associated with good luck and it's a good omen in general, but this flower's meaning in hanakotoba is rather sad. Fragility, ephemeral romance, ephemeral beauty etc. due to its significantly short lifespan. 

Transcience itself is also a subject of Japanese buddhist philosophy of mono no aware (lit. the pathos of things) which is the awareness and acceptance of impermanence. The realization that every creature grows up, appears at its finest while being a full-fledged adult, then gets old and eventually passes away. The same goes for nature, beauty, dreams and so on and so forth. This motif is, in fact, deeply rooted in classical Japanese literature and culture. One of the best known examples is Iroha poem dating back to Heian period (AD 794–1179). Well, Iroha's entire text has been slapped into Gekka bijin lyrics that are marked in italics. What is more, Gekka bijin's lyrics are full of Iroha references. Just compare Iroha with the rest of lyrics.

What we have here is another song about a woman (Mitsuki tends to use 私 [watashi] - a gender-neutral, first person pronoun when the speaker is meant to be feminine) who is already dead. The woman dies prematurely, still full of hopes and dreams, nonetheless she appears as a ghost - something that exists only for one night, fragile and ephemeral. One can appear as a 幽霊 [yuurei] - a ghost from Japanese folklore, when one's soul still has something to be settled in the world of living, longs for something, misses something or just appears out of one's malignant intentions (held grudges, revenge etc.). Yuurei is, however, a bit different concept of spectres than Buddhism-derived ones (check my Rengoku translation for more information). I reckon, the ghost woman is a yuurei after all, due to her nature - she pops from the afterlife to seek for her lost dreams even though she ultimately realizes that there is basically no point in doing so - shallow dreams of aforementioned Iroha poem.

Nice song, isn't it?

Friday, October 7, 2016

Thursday, September 1, 2016

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Tsuyuhitosuji / Kiryu

Kanji & Romaji: hiphopvomit
Translation: myself

Lyrics & music: Sakai Mitsuki




露一筋 [Tsuyuhitosuji]
A single teardrop



Reverberation     Repercussion     Echoing sound is smoldering off
Floating... and sinking... Resembling the end of death by drowning

If I looked up at a distorted reality     A dream would walk in closing my eyelids
In the transparent darkness     On the reached water's surface

Solitary sky howling at the moon     Being silently engulfed by thousands of raindrops
Getting closer to that presence (1) is... A thin "single teardrop"

It does not resound    It does not come back     Echoing sound disappears into nothingness
Decaying... Rotting... Resembling the end of death by drowning

A palm of heart full of pain covers the field of vision
A slumber with dreaming sensation    Is being disrupted by rain

Solitary sky howling at the moon     Being silently engulfed by thousands of raindrops
Getting closer to that presence is... A thin "single teardrop"

If I tried getting mixed in among the sound of rain...     There's [only] loneliness     Frail silence
If that time came, would my yell reach [you]...

Solitary sky howling at the moon     Being silently engulfed by thousands of raindrops
Getting closer to that presence is... Heart's weakness hidden in tears...

A thin "single teardrop"

Even quickly flowing thoughts     Are not becoming an echo
Weakened words... Resembling the end of death by drowning


Footnotes:

  1. Actually his side, his presence; an archaism


Discussion:

Again, Mitsuki... AN UNCLEAR MOTIF. At least not as clear as tears you wrote lyrics about.

I suspect this song is either about a girl who lost her beloved one or from a perspective of a girl who is the deceased one. Or maybe, an unrequited love?

I think only Mitsuki himself knows.

Or by chance, it's just about an unhappy love and loneliness, and it's me and me alone who demands unnecessary details on this song.

Hadoma yori / Kiryu

Kanji & Romaji: hiphopvomit
Translation: myself

Lyrics & music: Kujou Takemasa




鉢特摩ヨリ [Hadoma yori] (no vid available)
From the Hell of Crimson Lotus



Haunting the endless cycle of rebirth     One's inborn nature
Laughing evilly
Painting the cavity     And running after personal grudges
Another disoriented person     ah-.

Rumors are drifting towards joy
Laughing foolishly
A face with two dancing tongues      [Shows] feigned ignorance

The one appealing more to the divine will is
Floating across the three currents (1)

A swarm revolving in nonsense     Coronation (2) has ended     Let's put the crimson lotus on
That is, the heaven sent ends     Beckoning flame
The one who has an evil influence on a pure person [dwelling] in the frog's well (3)     Weal and woe is... what I ask
Too late     Yet, as a human being     It's different

Flicker and bewilderment     Being intoxicated in nectar
Laughing in no wickedness
Moaning voice is approaching "Look, I caught you"

The one appealing more to the divine will is
Floating across the three currents

A swarm sent back to death (4)    Escapes without making sacrifices     Going beyond the blue lotus (5)
Flower petals fluttering on one's limbs     The lotus flower is crimson
Knowing one's death while being insistenly ignorant fool     One's own weakness

Ah     Intensely     Lamenting

For thousands of years     Without having or even knowing one's whereabouts     I draw a spiral
Slowly, one's face being ripped off    The lotus on one's limbs
Hateful fate
Crimson firmament     Illuminated in setting sun     Dazzling beauty
Beyond it     The lotus blooms

More appealing than myriads of years, regrettable [worldly] existence.
It doesn't stop raining from the cloudy sky and it accelerates the north wind (6).
Foolishness landing in seven [pieces] (7) reaches its peak, the lotus won't wither today.
I think... "Get lost"


Footnotes:
  1. A reference to Sanzu river (三途の川 [Sanzu no kawa] - River of Three Crossings) - Japanese buddhist equivalent of Styx from Greek mythology; the three crossings are: a bridge, a ford, and a spot where there's only deep serpent-infested water; your route across Sanzu is chosen depending on the weight of your sins commited while being alive
  2. I think it's a reference to the 鉢 kanji of 鉢特摩, which means inter alia crown
  3. 井蛙 [seia] - frog in a well refers to a person with a narrow perspective; the proverbial frog who jugdes the entire world knowing only its own narrow well
  4. 寂滅 [jakumetsu] can mean nirvana as well
  5. A reference to 摩訶鉢特摩地獄 [Makahadoma jigoku] known as Hell of Blue Lotus; even colder than Hadoma, but sinners undergo similar torments (see: discussion)
  6. North is associated with one of buddhist Four Heavenly Kings (Shitennou) - Tamonten (Bishamonten); Bishamonten also belongs to one of Japanese Seven Lucky Gods (Shichi Fukujin), praised by samurai as the god of fortune in war; he protects those who follow the rules; Tamonten is also mentioned in Lotus sutra
  7. See: discussion

Discussion:

<ramble> They say, curiosity killed a cat.
"I wonder what Negi's lyrics would look like"
"They shouldn't be so extensively difficult"
I was sorely mistaken. </ramble>


According to Lotus sutra, every single person is eligible for aquiring Enlightenment and entering the Buddhahood. But what if we compare the greed for Enlightenment to something that is the total opposite of it?

Well... Hell.

Buddhist concept of hell is much more complex than that of Christian one. You might be accustomed to the existence of sole hell, with blazing inferno and whatnot. Buddhist one, referred to as Naraka differentiates into eight hot and layering them eight cold hells called Jigoku. Each Jigoku has its something I call "sub-hells" (lesser hells) which yields approximately 270 hells in total. Essentially, Jigoku are placed one over another, meaning - the deeper one, the more severe it becomes.

While you can find numerous information on monstrous, fiery Jigoku, it's much more difficult to collect any relevant data on those horrendously cold ones. Essentially the Hadoma from this song's title is the seventh cold Jigoku, also known as 紅蓮地獄 [guren jigoku] - literally Hell of Crimson Lotus. Briefly speaking, people who fall into this Jigoku, undergo an extreme freeze making their skin crack in pattern resembling a lotus flower and revealing bloody flesh, hence its name. But what kind of sinner does end up in Hadoma? I would like to know the exact answer myself. English and Japanese resources seem to be utterly clueless. Chinese resources, on the other hand, reveal something about buddhist monks. Monks are somewhat connected with Enlightenment, right.

Since Hadoma is the seventh Jigoku, I think, the number 7 might be also essential to the overall understanding. 7 in buddhism is associated with the death and rebirth. Also, it refers to the Seven Factors of Enlightenment:

  1. Mindfulness - holistic awareness of the present moment; to abstain from desires, daydreams, judgements and conceptualizations
  2. Investigation - the truth of the nature of existence should be found by the individual themself
  3. Energy - the required strength and courage on one's path to Enlightenment
  4. Happiness - to do what makes one content
  5. Tranquility - the necessity of rest after finished work to calm one's mind
  6. Concentration - (do I need to elaborate)
  7. Enquanmity - to not get into extremes of likes and dislikes

Basically, what one should do to achieve eventual Enlightenment.

I think it is a good moment for summing all this mess up. Lotus hell - Lotus sutra. Meaning, constant pursuit of Enlightenment. The subject of Hadoma yori is somehow unable to achieve it themself due to their mental dissonance which is unfavorable in buddhist concept of Enlightenment. It gradually leads to the crippling feel of envy, because they see everybody being in better situation than them, being more eligible for the divine will than them which makes them all the more distant from their dream if we consider teachings of Seven Factors of Enlightenment. But it is said, everyone can be enlightened, right? So is the subject still desperately trying to change their miserable fate.

Literal hell of a song, that is. Yet, extremely interesting. Also, really difficult to explain its hidden meaning due to its complexity. This makes me think it is a contest - who will come up with more intricate lyrics. Negi, you can compete with Mahiro. That is already something in and of itself, maan.

Saturday, July 2, 2016

Hyakki yakou / Kiryu

Kanji & Romaji: hiphopvomit
Translation: myself

Lyrics & music: Sakai Mitsuki





百鬼夜行 [Hyakki yakou]
Night Parade of One Hundred Demons



Knitting, patching and fixing the disguise (1)     Fabricated smile     Dress right dress (2)
Writhing in pain while having the head chopped off     Tongue speaking the truth (3) is a lizard's tail

Manacles     Life's bondage     Light swaying here and there
Deadly sea of darkness is floating in the evening     Losing a companion leads to tedium

Successively (4)     Slowly (5)

Insects are crawling inside the head

Successively     Slowly

Devouring torn off nails, squirming bewilderment

What to chase, what to demand, what to cling to
Remaining unseen     While remaining unknown, Night Parade of One Hundred Demons (6) progresses
Boisterously noisy festival accompaniament is screaming from the viscera of mind (7)
Lying larynx (8) is being bitten and torn into pieces, that is the result of the real voice

Trembling with fear in the lie caressing the darkness     Therefore the light    seems to be slippery as an eel
To die in the life-burning lie

Soon     Slowly

Insects are dancing inside the head

Lied eggs of insects are thickly dripping

Dark senses smeared in familiar dirty mud are getting dim
When one's hand is pulled by a cruel hand, Night Parade of One Hundred Demons progresses
Transient world is prepared to flee (9) in boisterously noisy festival accompaniament
Not turning back, having one's ears plugged      Going as well as returning is so scary (10)

Lie that was experienced and sent around is like a nectar     Telling lies around while being unconsciously intoxicated

Nearby... One disguise (11) fell down     On another side, thousands deceptions

To indulge in the darkness, wriggle and [eventually] die      Or to tear the darkness off, paw at the ground and [eventually] die
Swaying paper lantern     Is carried off by the night wind     Disordered     One's footsteps of life


Footnotes:
  1. As in 化けの皮を剥ぐ [bake no kawa wo hagu] - to unmask one's true nature / intentions; lit. to rip off one's disguise / face's skin
  2. A military command in order to find dress and alignment in a formation
  3. 本音 [honne] - what one really thinks; the opposite is 建て前 [tatemae] - what one says to people (usually fabricated)
  4. Onomatopoeic word: ぞろぞろ [zorozoro] - in groups / in succession
  5. Onomatopoeic multitool word: だらだら [daradara] - (inter alia) dripping / slowly / leisurely / endlessly
  6. See: discussion
  7. Wordplay: 心臓 [shinzou] - heart (anat.) written as 心の臓 [shin no zou] - viscera (guts) of mind
  8. 喉笛 [nodobue] used here actually means windpipe; since it literally means throat pipe / flute (kanji wise), I decided to translate it into larynx, because I've found it fitting
  9. Or to become restless / to become agitated
  10. A reference to Japanese children song Tooryanse
  11. See: footnote (1)

Discussion:

On the day of the dog of fourth lunar month, don't you dare to leave your house at night. You may encounter - Hyakki yakou - Night Parade of One Hundred Demons, which means death. Death of you and your beloved ones.

However, what do demons do in this song? They are a simile to lies. Imagine a person speaking fabricated words all the time, for instance an individual suffering from compulsive / pathological lying disorder. Reasons of one to lie may vary. From impress to avoid certain situations (though pathological liars may lie just for the sake of fraud itself). The fear of being unmasked is also present - it may lead one to make up more lies just to cover up them being caught on lying. Pathological liars also seem to be nervous when they have to speak the truth.

Releasing those one hundered demons, or more precisely - being utterly unmasked as an impostor, much like opening the Pandora's box may cause multiple disasters for the liar as well as for surrounding them people. In other words, I consider Hyakki yakou (as a motif) a metaphor of a pathological liar's darkness of mind. A night where demons dwell and parade.

Well done, Mitsuki.

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Kagee no karasu / Kiryu

Kanji & Romaji: hiphopvomit
Translation: myself

Lyrics & music: Sakai Mitsuki





影絵ノ鴉 [Kagee no karasu]
Crow from the shadow picture



You've seen through me, so I flew away...

What song shall I compose, in this sunset dyed red
The one who blends into the hoarsed autumn is me, "Crow from the shadow picture"
In the twilight, see you tomorrow
The one who firmly observed myself while shaking hands is me, "Crow from the shadow picture"

Hate, hate, hate hate, one after another
Hate, hate, hate hate, generation after generation

"What if it soothed my pain?" (1)

The crow composes its song

Arises and buds when the snow melts     The flower of icily painful lie
Winter silently slurps tears

THESE hands stopped dying pitch-black easily
I pushed my back and flew away
While plugging your ears, close your eyes, until your voice will be muffled (2)
Embrace...the true meaning of baby's first cry

Hate, hate, hate hate, one after another
Hate, hate, hate hate, generations after generations

"Has the pain been soothed?"

The crow laughs

When the cherry blossom gently sways     The lie from THAT moment scatters around
Spring that looks downward in this pink radiance

The lie still blooms, scatters and withers away     Swaying spirit-shaped buds of words (3)
Branches are what pierces summer into you


Footnotes:

  1. The phrase 楽になる [raku ni naru] - to soothe one's pain, to be relieved etc. can be literally translated as to become a melody as well
  2. A reference to Japanese sanzaru (pic) - Three Wise Monkeys being a pictorial maxim saying see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil as each monkey is covering eyes, ears and mouth respectively; here sanzaru is a metaphor of a newborn who is not tainted with any kind of evil
  3. 言の葉 [kotonoha] means words, but if we consider each compound of this word, we can literally translate it as leaves of words


Discussion:

It's June already! Therefore the full-blown summer is about to come as the very last of spring storms' thunders are going away.

Speaking of four seasons... The ever-changing nature is one of two main motifs of Kagee no karasu. It's also a metaphor of human life and the endless cycle of death and rebirth. From the very beginning, spring is where the nature awakens from its slumber. All about infancy and youth - as the moment where a human is born and follow their path towards adulthood (did you know that youth in Japanese means inter alia 青春 [seishuun] - lit. blue spring?). Adulthood is like summer. The most glamorous moments of youthfulness disappear like the nature itself is rapidly maturing. The next stage is fall - the senility. The nature changes significantly as it gets old, being aware of the further death - upcoming winter (speaking of which, winter and white color in general are a common symbol of death in Japan). As we know, four seasons repeat themselves endlessly, hence the reference to the reincarnation itself.

The second motif is our title crow. In Japan, this bird is said to be the messenger of gods, known in mythology as Yatagarasu - the three-legged, large crow. I mentioned in my Hinamatsuri [R] translation before, that Japanese emperors/empresses are descendants of the Shinto goddess of sun - Amaterasu. Well, Yatagarasu is also associated with guidance and victory, since (according to legends) he was sent to the Earth by Amaterasu to guide her descendant Jimmu (ruling 660 - 585 BC) in his journey to become the first emperor. As that was an obvious thing to me, I found that this mythical, tripedal bird of corvus genus is also said to be a mark of rebirth and rejuvenation. I could not find any evidence to prove that statement, however I think it has something to do with the buddhist figure - Kannon, who  is sometimes presented together with Yatagarasu. Basically, Kannon is often considered a bodhisattva of mercy, pity and compassion. She is also believed to offer her helping hands to souls in their way of transmigration. Moreover, do you know who is often referred to as Kannon as well? Our well known, Shinto goddess Amaterasu herself! This is why I would consider Yatagarasu a mark of rebirth as well.
(note: Kannon comes in both male and female versions, but in Japan the latter is more common)

To sum up, let's merge the crow and four seasons together. Two motifs of reincarnation including the title crow that is the sign of it all.

Ah, I almost forgot to clarify the lie of Kagee no karasu. Well, people prefer to believe that life is supposed to end when they die. But who said it indeed does end? Definitely not our crow.


Afterword:

Woohoo, an off-topic section!

What I wanted to convey as an afterword is that I plan to retranslate Zangetsu, Juusanya and Nochi no koyoi in near future. These three songs form some really messed-up story altogether, which is confirmed (thanks Mahiro, at least you were helpful this time)! I've already deciphered that story while translating it into my native, yet I'd like to present it to you all as well.

All I need is simply more time which isn't certainly in my June schedule. You know, my finals are coming... They are really near...

Saturday, May 28, 2016

Utakata / Kiryu

Kanji & Romaji: hiphopvomit
Translation: myself

Lyrics: Tokai Junji, Isshiki Hiyori
Music: Sakai Mitsuki




泡沫 [Utakata]
Transience / Bubbles



A hollow that becomes purity peeks into one's desires     Hazy, mysterious sleeve made of white silk

Flowers of unmeetable moonlight earthly desires bloom
Butterflies (1) entwine together in dance     Playing in ephemeral sea
Playful gloom repeats itself     After having come this far
Fluttering randomly     Waning moon     Sways in beautiful youthfulness

Eternal youth     When tasted, flowers open     A banquet that invites one to the paradise
Eternal evening     When initiated, ground cherries (2) are enlivened     Charming make-up     Smile of pleasure

Love that begins at midnight
Loses itself in the dance of snakeheads (3)
When one misunderstands the fragrance of salt water
In the middle of devilishness
Floating on the lure of treasure and beauty (4)
Dropping the idea of old age (5)
Joy and pleasure separated from this transient world are

In between of dream and reality

At the end of a woven fence, the morning dew of deadly impurities [awaits]     Transient dream is a kaleidoscope
A pale (6) illusion is a blue reminiscence     The song of bellflowers (7) resounds

Ah...

Chance meeting     It is the tempting Utopia
As many days and emptiness     Ends up being fleetingly scattered
A body     While spoiling, the mixture of souls is     The karma     That frolics around
Without any reason     Amorphous haze      Devilish love      Turned into bubbles     Despite having one's faith in it, it doesn't stop collapsing

Life, has been scattering since that day

At the end of woven fence, the morning dew of deadly impurities [awaits]     Transient dream is a kaleidoscope
A pale illusion is a blue reminiscence     The song of bellflowers resounds
Beloved flower     The autumn haze has come     Dream... Reality... Are illuminating like fish scales


Footnotes:


  1. Butterflies are the symbol of the endless cycle of death and rebirth. Also a symbol of young women
  2. 鬼灯 [hoozuki] - ground cherry is a species of flower that is related to the Japanese all saint's day - Obon. Seeds of these flowers are offered to the deceased as a signpost for their souls
  3. See: discussion
  4. 蛾眉 [gabi] is a term describing the beautiful and ideal woman
  5. Lit. old woman (老婆 [rouba])
  6. 蒼 [ao] can mean blue or youthfulness as well
  7. Bellflower in Hanakotoba (language of flowers - Japanese way of deciphering flower symbolism) means I love the sad you; it is a symbol of faith as well


Discussion:

Okay, unmeetable is my own, made up word (my English tutor would kill me for that... Again).

In my previous talks, we've had already medicine, culture, linguistics and history lessons. Now it's time for some biology itself! Hence, let's unravel the mystery that lies behind the word snakehead mentioned in lyrics. It is a predatory fish, known for its rather unique amphibious abilities (not many fish are able to do so). Snakeheads breathe air with gills, thus they are able to leave water for extended period of time and walk short distances outside the water.

The title of this song is 泡沫 [utakata] which can mean transience or bubbles. When we dive into any reservoir, it is only natural that we produce bubbles. Bubbles are ephemeral as they pop when they reach the water surface. What is ephemeral as well? Human life. This is the ropes of Utakata. Basically, we have here some sophisticated symbolism of the afterlife, namely the sea/ocean whatsoever basin. Similarly, the land is the world of living. Do you still remember our new friends snakeheads? This is a simile to something that generally belongs to the afterlife, but is able to emerge for a short period of time on the world of living - the metaphor of ghosts.

This song with mono no aware (see: my Irodori translation for some highlights about this topic) vibes is therefore about an unfortunate (nihil novi, Kiryu) couple, where a girl dies prematurely. The guy is still fine and sound, however he still believes that his beloved one will return, but as a ghost. After all, she indeed shows herself to him. He even thinks about commiting suicide to become an eternal youth living the eternal evening along with his dear girlfriend, since ghosts appear only at night.

What a complex motif, I swear.

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Sazanami / Kiryu

Kanji & Romaji: hiphopvomit
Translation: myself

Lyrics: Kurosaki Mahiro
Music: Sakai Mitsuki




漣 [Sazanami]
Ripples



Love that has been fading for a long time     What will you leave in the palm of my hand
While dozing off     Sweet lovers' talk is cooling off the warm booze

When the eeb tide carries you off, will you make your way through
As the lingering scent     Ah, if soaked into it, cruelty would ephemerally disappear

Money, women, romance... Amongst these all, filthy and messy   You
Even when being evasive     And fickle     Letting you come near will return

"Floating and sinking"

Love that has been fading for a long time     Will you disentangle these palms of our hands
Wavy hair, without gloss     Eventually you will sadly lose an interest in it

I wonder if this pair of small birds is surely happy
Looking up at the sky     Ah, mandarin duck (1) is wishing for the depths of romance that cannot fly away

Yearning for the long autumn rain     Although I knew, it wouldn't become reality
Rings on the water     Dizziness     While drawing an arc    Flapping (2) towards the blue sky

"Without breathing"

Wiping bitter tears     Ah, I wonder if only I could play with those fingers

Money, women, romance... Amongst these all, filthy and messy    You
Even when being evasive     And fickle     Letting you come near will return     Ripples

Yearning for the long autumn rain    Although I knew, it wouldn't become reality
Rings on the water     Dizziness     When drawing an arc     Flapping wings abreast towards the blue sky

"Holding our hands together towards the blue sky"


Footnotes:

  1. Mandarin ducks are said to form lifelong couples, thus they became the symbol of eternal love in west Asian countries
  2. Kanji given in lyrics say 藻掻く [mogaku] - to struggle, to writhe, but there is habataku (羽撃く) - to flap (wings) sung instead


Discussion:

I do not want to focus this much on the story of Sazanami, because it's relatively easy to decipher. Basically, the subject is a woman - a loving and caring wife who turns a blind eye to her husband being a cheater, more interested in any other woman, but his own wife. Yet this relationship turned out to be unfortunate anyway, since the husband passes away. The woman is unable to bear her tragic fate, therefore she commits a suicide in the name of her devoted love and she wishes to be toghether with her husband in the afterlife.

What I would like to talk about is the construction of original Japanese lyrics, because some of Kiryu songs (especially those written by Mahiro) are similar in terms of fashion. I find it somehow crucial to understand Kiryu's concept of wasei (Japanese-made) horror and why do people often fear to translate them. Mahiro as a lyricist is uber fond of breaking rules, both moral and grammar. On the other hand, Mitsuki is your everyday poet - his lyrics are nowhere near Japanese taught in textbooks. However this is not what makes Kiryu's songs (mostly) hard to translate. What makes them this way is Kobun (Bungo) or classical Japanese in English. This form of language derives from Heian period (794 - 1185/1192 AD) and was preserved later on (being the standard until around 1930) as a literary language. You may know that Japanese writing system consists of kana (katakana + hiragana) and shitton of kanji. What is characteristic for Kobun as well is a phenomenon called rekishiteki kanazukai - a historical kana usage (in a general use until the end of World War II though). It means additional, obsolete pieces of kana (ゐ & ヰ [wi], ゑ & ヱ [we]; sometimes still used in names in some regions) as well as major spelling differences in both words and grammar structures.

A lot of Kiryu's songs harbors at least a bit of Kobun in their structure and some texts even attempt to partly mimic rekishiteki kanazukai in their spelling. It may be confusing for those not familiar with Kobun at all, but familiar with everyday Japanese. In fact, very first Kiryu's songs are written in a very modern fashion (such as Another side or Yuukaku), however their later works do harbor Kobun, rekishiteki kanazukai, archaisms, rare/obsolete kanji or are at least written in a very literary way to indicate their traditional style. This is actually why those lyrics are not a piece of cake to most of people (including Japanese themselves).

I said before that the story of Sazanami was not that difficult. Well, the story itself is indeed easy, but its original lyrics in kanji are the perfect example of the aforementioned complexity, since they are almost entirely written in Kobun fashion and rekishiteki kanazukai.

Kyuubi / Kiryu [R]

Kanji & Romaji: hiphopvomit
Translation: myself

Lyrics & music: Sakai Mitsuki


Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Kakusei ni hayu ugomeki / Kiryu

Kanji & Romaji: hiphopvomit
Translation: myself

Lyrics: Kurosaki Mahiro
Music: Sakai Mitsuki





拡聲ニ蝕ユ蠢 [Kakusei ni hayu ugomeki]
Intensely ecliptic wriggle



The Emperor shall reign forever and ever (1)     Flickering revolving pain is deeply held unstoppable resentment 
For whose sake     For one's sake     Heavens are heavily rustling, making the earth tremble

In the [rotten] sea of stumbling and cowering [dead] bodies (2)
Holding up both hands over one's head, applause is going crazy
From every irregularly torn and warped mouth
Smeared in amber maggots are spreading around

(Spitting on the sun     three cheers)

Look upwards, in the every direction, [it is] dying in purple spots     Sound of blades (3)     Please, cut open
Cheering in chorus while bringing the purge     Salute and conquer through the order of death

"Turn the daybreak into ashes!"

The Emperor shall reign forever and ever     Extending one's [high-angle] view, remains of foolishly wriggling things
Now it is progressing     And progressing     Duty of punishment is coming to an end

Wavering of the twisting and distorting eclipse of the hatching flower
When the swelling of last month of pregnancy is going to [spiritually] awaken
It creaks in the climax of fascinating growing up
Blooming in the interior of a womb and tearing in order to be in the outside of a body

(Resonance of the myriads     The sphere (4) is going to break)

Look upwards, in the every direction, [it is] dying in purple spots     Sound of blades     Please, cut open
Cheering in chorus while bringing the purge     Salute and conquer through the order of death
Monochrome (5) purgatoty is like plentifully clamouring new moon
Be afraid of the weak stepping stones     Sound of blades     Please, cut open

"Hey, puppet-like loiterlings parasiting on sacrifices!
     By now, having the ennumeration of funeral processions, death and degeneration are coming!"


Footnotes:

  1. A fragment of Japanese anthem Kimi ga yo (in my translation)
  2. Written as rotten sea of (...) corpses but sung as sea of (...) bodies
  3. Or sound of [insects'] wings
  4. It can be alsto translated  as a person used as a part of a plot considering the context of the entire song
  5. Wordplay: モノクロ [monokuro] - monochrome written as 喪之黒 [monokuro] – lit. mourning black

Discussion:

Banzai! Banzai! Banzai!

Nowadays, people associate shouting banzai (literally ten thousand years) with our well-known hooraay!, but historically it used to be shouted after some victorious battle. This outwardly optimistic exclamation derives from the Empire of Japan (I linked a profound wiki article here for your consideration) time period which was not that happy at all. A period of time, where the Emperor ruled ultimately also being the supreme Commander in Chief of Armed Imperial Forces.

Unfortunately for me, this song has a historic overtone after all. It's not like history is my weak point or so. NOT AT ALL. 
Salute and conquer through the order of death. One of the trademarks of Imperial Japanese troops were kamikaze (divine wind)- world's most known suicide air attacks used at the very end of World War II. First act of kamikaze was performed in America in 1944. Soldiers used aircraft especially designed for the suicide attack called Ouka (cherry blossom) in Japan, but Baka (fool) by Americans. In fact, divine wind was seen by Americans as a foolish act of desperation, but for Japanese, kamikaze was like a honorable death for the sake of the Empire and Emperor himself. That was a brief history torture lesson.

Kakusei ni hayu ugomeki is exactly about kamikaze. About people loyal to the Emperor, born to end up being scattered together with their planes in order to provide a victory. You know, Japan has been always called Land of the Rising Sun, hence the eclipse in the title means the end of the glory of the Empire. In fact, Imperial Japanese surrendered at the end of WWII and their suicide attacks turned out to be totally fruitless. Long story short - this song is about a literal attempt to trampling over people, I daresay.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Ayakashigatari / Kiryu

Kanji & Romaji: hiphopvomit
Translation: myself

Lyrics & music: Sakai Mitsuki

Important note: the `ME` in italics is `atashi` - a pronoun used by females, the regular `ME` is `watashi` - a pronoun used by both genders, and finally the `YOU`  is `anata` - a pronoun mostly used by females to refer to their beloved ones or just formal `you`





妖語 [Ayakashigatari] (Link to a Nico Nico vid; one's obliged to log in there)
The talk of an Ayakashi (1)



Even if I looked back, it wouldn't change the fact that everything was an utmost stupidity
If I savored the nonsense of trusting heart, IT would be eternally lacking its flavor
I was able to observe the smoothly going sail... Not knowing how is it to be smeared in mud
Floating on the warmth of happiness... Not knowing how is it to be sunk in the cooling stagnation

To fool or to be fooled... One of these two reflects the true nature of this transient world

It hurts... It hurts...
A shriek mixed with a creak of bones is being drowned by the prison of flames
Notice... Notice...
The "ME" is right here... What dissolves in tears is the story told by an Ayakashi

Screaming "YOU" who looks at lamenting "ME"
Did "YOU" know who used to wear THAT crooked smiling mask
While going forward with the two [of us]... The one who unraveled my true colors
Was "YOU" who believed that there was no "ME" or "ME"

To fool or to be fooled... One of these two is the reality
"THIS and THAT, everything is a misunderstanding" I realized, it was mincing me from the inside

So dark... So dark...
Overflowing scarlet has taken away... The light and the shade... Everything...
Help me... help me...
Absent-minded "YOU"     Licking lips was the last scenery you showed me

It hurts... It hurts...
A shriek mixed with a creak of bones is being drowned by the prison of flames
Notice... Notice...
The "ME" is right here... What dissolves in tears is the story told by an Ayakashi

Even if I looked back, it wouldn't change the fact that everything was an utmost stupidity
If I savored the nonsense of trusting heart, IT would be eternally lacking flavor
You were a fool, therefore you has been fooled, but it was just an unnoticed pipe dream
Thank you for the meal, not even bones were left    To end without a flavor



Footnotes:


  1. Ayakashi = Japanese folklore demon


Discussion:

<off-top> The truth is that I started translating songs around two years ago, when I was still even more basic in Japanese than I am now and I used to be blind to minor details. Formerly, I translated to my native language, which was probably not so witty of me. (In fact, English is much more accurate in terms of translating from Japanese, and lyrics make much more sense.) Or maybe witty? Who knows. Anyways, I ended up with a shitton of lyrics to retranslate and Ayakashi gatari was one of them. (Maybe it's a great opportunity to correct translations of my stupid and ignorant self). </off-top>

Today I will not be talking about cultural aspects, but about the story itself. I mentioned before the two me used in these lyrics. Keep that in mind. 

You probably noticed who is speaking here - a female, man-eating Ayakashi. Well, our supernatural heroine happens to be a kind of a tragic character, namely she deceived (in her human form) a human-being, who provided her a wonderful relationship, and at the end... She hesitated whether to eat her prey or not. Nevertheless, the guy noticed that something was wrong with his girlfriend and uncovered her true face. Instead of clarifying the situation, our heroine decided to finally devour her victim. Buut... Does she regret her actions as an aftermath? Probably yes. Also, what is IT? It's her life as an Ayakashi.

Do you still remember those two me of our heroine? Watashi is a formal, gender-neutral, first-person pronoun and since it can be used by everybody, Mitsuki apparently decided to use this pronoun as well to indicate the human disguise of our heroine. On the contrary, we have atashi which is exclusively used by women. Here goes the true Ayakashi form. Is it clear? I hope so.

I wonder if it is a metaphor to ourselves. After all, everybody has their true and fabricated nature when it comes to interaction with other people. At least at some point. Am I right?

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Daruma / Kiryu [R]

Kanji & Romaji: hiphopvomit
Translation: myself

Lyrics: Kurosaki Mahiro
Music: Kujou Takemasa

Note: a long discussion strikes baaack.

Friday, May 20, 2016

Irodori / Kiryu

Kanji & Romaji: hiphopvomit
Translation: myself

Lyrics: Sakai Mitsuki
Music: Kujou Takemasa





Coloration



Flowers blooming on the dead tree     Are coloring the charming 15th night (1)
Dancing in the blowing wind     Trivial things that [make one] forget about reality

A little child is humming

"Let's play"

Under the big Torii gate     Waiting in vain

Even while clapping hands, it reverberates (2) in the emptiness
Even while shouting [one's] name, it gently calms down
Playing [games] follows the evening
When the sound of insects is calling out

Flowers blooming on the dead tree     Are coloring the charming 15th night
Dancing in the blowing wind     Forgetting about reality
If this dream is about to end     It will leave one all alone (3)
It disappeared being white-hot     Towards the eastern (4) sky

A person that laughs behind one's back
The little child always plays hide and seek with a person with no face

"Let's play"

One
Two
Three
Four

Still not found

The eastern sky is being red-hotly inflamed

When one's tired of chasing after the red dragonfly... (5)

"Is it yet?" (6)

Flowers blooming on the dead tree     Are coloring the charming 15th night
Dancing in the blowing wind     Forgetting about reality
If this dream is about to end     It will leave one all alone
It disappeared being white-hot     Waving hand towards the eastern sky

Trivial things that fly off



Footnotes:

  1. Juugoya is also known as full moon or harvest moon. It was the subject of moon viewing (Otsukimi) in the past due to its unique beauty.
  2. Lit. tree spirit - Kodama. Those tree spirits were often associated with echo
  3. Wordplay: 独法師 [hitoribocchi] written as 独楽師 [komashi] - master of spinning the top]. In Edo Japan the art of spinning the top was a relatively popular hobby.
  4. East is linked here with the daybreak – the moment when one wakes up from their dream
  5. Dragonfly is a symbol of power and victory in Japan
  6. It derives from Japanese version of hide and seek (kakurenbo). The one who "seeks" counts and asks is it yet? (mou ii kai?) while people who "hide" themselves reply with not yet (maada da yo) when not ready or It is yet (mou ii yo) when ready.


Discussion:

To be frank... I have no clue what to think about this song. Lyrics themselves were relatively easy to translate. The problem is that, I was unable to find any concrete interpretation while translating.

My suspicion is that this song is clad in Japanese buddhist philosophy of mono no aware (lit. the pathos of things). Briefly said, it is a concept meaning the awareness and acceptance of impermanence. The realization that every creature grows up, appears at its finest while being a full-fledged adult, then gets old and eventually passes away. The same goes for nature, beauty, dreams etc. This motif is, in fact, deeply rooted in classical Japanese literature and culture. 
(Have you ever wondered why Japanese are so fond of observing nature [inter alia blooming cherry blossom]? Because of mono no aware
One of the most famous Japanese poems - Iroha is a perfect example of this phenomenon:
"Although its scent still lingers on
the form of a flower has scattered away
For whom will the glory
of this world remain unchanged?
Arriving today at the yonder side
of the deep mountains of evanescent existence
We shall never allow ourselves to drift away
intoxicated, in the world of shallow dreams" 
(translation: Prof. Ryuichi Abe)

I think this poem has something to do with Irodori as well. Irodori means coloration while iro in iroha literally means color, and trivial things might be possibly the reference to shallow dreams

Coincidence? I think not.

Also, the mono no aware motif. In this song, we have a ghost (not sure about this) of a child who night by night seeks for a company to play their wordly games. However no one will answer anymore, because an average human being possesses no ability to see otherwordly phenomena. The transcience of human life, emotions, dreams and wordly desires entrapped in infantile apparition.

Makes sense, but still... I am not sure about that.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Rengoku / Kiryu

Kanji & Romaji: hiphopvomit
Translation: myself

Lyrics: Sakai Mitsuki
Music: Kujou Takemasa





煉獄 [Rengoku]
Purgatory




"I am a puppet* being in great demand"

...Prey of the afterlife (1)... 

"Human body that cannot move is full of grudges"

Now, the long awaited evening of exposition* begins

Licking one's lips in the love of discharging lies...

Smeared in carnal desires

Gleamingly illuminating despair

When one's stabbed, flowers bloom

The red going crazy in agony while scorching this body     If I closed my eyelids, sea of purgatory [could be seen]
Burnt to black scream is crawling and revolving from the inflamed throat     Pouring rain of scorn

Ah...

I have been burnt out in pain     Painted in distorted colors of rainbow

If the ferry to prison is more likely to become the muddy boat, I'd take the one way road...

To die by drowning in vomit and excreta

Disgorge...
Disgorge...
Disgorge...
Disgorge...

Help me... 

Voice that cannot reach [you]

Teasing and playing with     If worn out then put into a scrap cage

Day after day, keeping until death

Tonight, I'll keep screaming as well

Plucked off flower of life

Gleamingly illuminating despair

When one's stabbed, flowers bloom

The red going crazy in agony while scorching this body     If I closed my eyelids, sea of purgatory [could be seen]
Burnt to black scream is crawling and revolving from the inflamed throat     Pouring rain of scorn

The red going crazy in agony while scorching this body     If I closed my heart, sea of purgatory [could be felt]
Burnt to black scream becomes completely wet, yet dries out while desperately trying to breathe     Rain of dried scorn

The red going crazy in agony while disguising in this body     The sea of purgatory engulfs everything

I'm bidding the farewell to myself while uniting the palms of hands     The tiny hope set in fire*, once held in my hands, smoulders ... My dream...

I cannot receive anything anymore...
I cannot give anything anymore...

That ray of purgatory won't guide me....

After all... I'm just a puppet* so I was wrong I could wish for a human life...
Maybe if my wish had become true, I thought I wanted to say only "good bye"...

But for whom...?



Footnotes:

  1. Wordplay: 後生 [goshou] written as 御床 meaning literally honorable sickbed

Words marked with [*] are prefixed by character 御 / お ("honorable" in rough meaning) in original Japanese text. It usually indicates humble language or/and things/people that belong to another person (but not to the speaker)

Discussion:


"Human body that cannot move is full of grudges".
In fact, Japanese people treat the zombie apocalypse more like a grotesque comedy, this sentence is much more deeper than you might think (nope, it's not about zombie). If you aren't familiar with any form of Buddhism at all, let me explain one thing about death in Japan - Japanese buddhist practicioners believe in the endless cycle of death and rebirth and thus, they perform a cremation which is considered a purification rite, so the soul of the deceased can peacefully take their way towards transmigration and start a brand new life. As Buddha himself was cremated and his soul transmigrated. If a cadaver was not buried properly (due to murder, war, death in unknown place, suicide etc.), its soul would wander. Such dead bodies, still holding grudges could transform their malevolent energy into supernatural forces that haunt the world of living.

Again, I noticed here a narration from the afterlife, but in a different context - someone (possibly a girl? Mitsuki used a gender-neutral pronoun - watashi - "I") who unexpectedly and prematurely passes away, but still harbors the strong will to live. They do not want to be purified and do not mind ending up as a wandering, vengeful soul as long as they are able to meet again with their cherished ones. Nonetheless, their body has been cremated in order to purify the soul, hence the title Purgatory.

Also, funny thing to notice that Mitsuki used a word 人形 [ningyou] – puppet, doll where it can be also very literally translated as human-shaped thus it can be a metaphor of a soul/spirit.